Ava Nunan:

23/03/2020 to 30/03/2020

What is your connection to Moreland? And, to which suburb(s)?

I live and work in Moreland. I am most active in Brunswick East and Coburg.

What was your experience of life before the pandemic?

Prior to the pandemic, I worked full time hours in a call centre. My plan was to work for six months, then travel to Japan and Taiwan for three months. I had been accepted into a short journalism course in Japan that was to occur in July - this was cancelled due to the pandemic. Aside from work, I regularly attended restaurants, bars, and electronic music events. I was active in my community and thought it integral to instigate and maintain community connections. 

Describe an experience that occurred during this pandemic that has stood out to be significant to you or your organisation/space/business that you'd like to share?

The work I am submitting was written in anticipation of what I thought I'd miss due to pandemic restrictions. It was the first round stage three restrictions, and I hadn't yet felt the full-fledged lockdown blues, though they had started to slowly trickle into my consciousness. I recall it being a unusual, transitory experience. The news was flooded with broken health systems and unrelenting body counts from abroad, new public health advice that then seemed extreme but now is built into our social relations. The piece captures the anticipatory grief, resignation to a life less colourful out of care for my community and fear for our safety.

Isolation Diaries – Ava Nunan

I would like a cloudless day in my front yard // Daphne flipping over-priced vegan sausages // a grimy barbeque

I would like the scald of Jameson // a cruisers’ synthetic kiss // just enough cigarettes for a mucus-lined throat

I would like laughter to erupt from my pancreas // over-politicised discussion // but perhaps everything is under-politicised 

I would like to say // I am certain, the revolution is just around the corner 

I would like to kick myself for reckless spending // cashed tucked away for an idealised escape // when I was honest with myself // I could only afford it if I stole a little

I would like my guilty conscience reminding me to give more to my mother

I would like touch, naïve and vulgar // hugs, awkward and meaningful

I would like to meet the lips of a long-time lover // warm, like a sip of chai matcha

I would like to meet the lips of a stranger // animalism, thick air

I would like to leave the next morning // unable to find my underwear // nor recall their name

I would like to buy five books // only read two before purchasing another ten // of which seven remain unread before the next four

I would like to drink cheap red in Tiare’s rustic kitchen // listen to solemn music I never recall the name of // reminisce about men we didn’t care about // make promises we know we won’t keep

I would like to feel disentangled after a long walk

I would like to sniff acacias // outside a swanky Brunswick townhouse // with solar panels on the roof

I would like to dance with the bees // revel in unknown allergies // a life risking venture

I would like to run for the train // legs propelled by the echo of my bosses’ voice // another late shift, you cog? // my lungs barely hold out // workplace casualisation is a threat

I would like internal admonishment // a promise to quit smoking // collapse into the unsightly green metro chair // battling for breath // drawing the gaze of amused passengers

I would like the unease of smudged makeup and a sweaty face // 4am in a room full of familiar strangers // music that is too loud to hear screams from every corner

I would like to fret over my dance moves // the person beside me flails their arms to no apparent beat

I would like to wake up with ears screeching // the cruel purr of motorcycle tyres

I would like to wonder if I have permanent hearing damage // do it again the next week 

I would like home as a sanctuary // to flee disastrous work weeks 

I would like the only antidote to be my unmade bed and Contrapoints on Youtube

I would like to feel fatigue and contentedness // I would like to look at somebody and see hope in their eyes // I would like to watch the sunset and wonder where the birds sleep at night // I would like to feel the progression of time // I would like the world to be well again

Instagram: Ava Nunan Instagram